family (n) :
If I’d written the dictionary, the meaning of ‘family’ would pop up on the miriam-webster site with two of those cool old-fashioned sketches: one of me with my sister and parents at a picnic table in the mountains, and another of me with my roommate, my RA, and a few other people I’ve come to consider my family at strose.
Family means something different to everyone, which we began to see in class. Personally, I think family is very important. I don’t think it matters if the people you consider your family are blood-related to you, if they live in the same state, or even the same country. Family should ultimately be something that loves and comforts you unconditionally. It should be a solid support system, people you can always turn to and never feel embarrassed or ashamed to run to for help. My family consists of more than a few people, and I’d lay my life down for each and every one of them without hesitation.
One of my friends had a very hard time with her parents growing up. They didn’t accept her career choice, her orientation, or, later on, the individual she wanted to marry. They caused her a significant amount of grief, not because she wished she’d been different for them, but because all she’d ever wanted was for them to appreciate the person they’d raised. She couldn’t understand why her ‘own family’ wouldn’t accept her. At her bridal shower, which her parents didn’t attend, part of the toast she gave summed up perfectly what I feel family is: “My family can’t be here tonight, but… you know what, that was wrong. That was really f-ing wrong. My parents couldn’t be here tonight. My parents will never f-ing be here, but you guys? You’re always around. You’ve always been there for me, for everything. You’re here. My family is here. And I love you for it, each and every one of you.”
Family isn’t what you’re born with, its what you make and tend. That, I think, is the one of the most important things we can understand in this life.
Wow that was very powerful. I must have read this part: “They caused her a significant amount of grief, not because she wished she’d been different for them, but because all she’d ever wanted was for them to appreciate the person they’d raised.” five times! I can’t imagine having a family who didn’t support me through the choices I make and what I do. I definitely think that your friend makes a valid point, and it ties right in with what we were saying in class.
Whoa. I second what Courtney said. Also, I like how you remind us that so much of what we think of with family is visual images, not just descriptions or feelings. Something to keep in mind when we watch the films, too!
Your friends life experience with family makes a very valid point that the family you’re born with is not necessarily your true family. Rather, your true family are the people who love you for who you and don’t condition their love on what they want you to be.